grief and growth.

Life is wild

And complex

And so beautifully

simple

All at once

It is soft and jagged

terrifying

And incredibly joyful

It is walking .... No... Leaping

Into the unknown...

Everyday

In every way

And coming out on the other side.

Transformed

Shape shifted

Lighter

Softer

Closer to the source

Spirit living in the human experience

So much to FEEL

This fire at my feet was the result of hours, days of work. Clearing, cutting, burning, turning. Tools in hand, reflecting down on the twinkle of that tiny black bead on my wrist and the dimensions within that tiny opal on my finger....

Waiting for the fire to die down....

This on the eve before we lost chickens to a wild cat and before we witnessed the birth of a lamb only to have it too taken by a wild cat in the night.

Life and death all wrapped up together.

And so it is.

That bracelet wrapped in blessings gifted in a gesture of love and solidarity, received fireside in circle with women I love...

Pure medicine.

That ring. I've worn it for 7 years, since becoming a mama. It belonged to my mother, she gave it tp me as a charm for my birth necklace way back then. She has had that ring since she was 15 years old, paid for it herself and loved it dearly. It fit like magic on my finger and carried many stories in its finite spaces....

I lost the stone this week. I just looked up and noticed it was gone. That is a whole lot of heartbreak and thunderous painful sadness..... Losing another part of her... Another piece of her physical presence, her self earthside. Trinkets of her close to me, that I can hold and touch.

Gone. Like sand in the wind...

And yet that emotional storm is all mixed up into a day... And afternoon busy with parenting commitments and meetings and meals and joyful laughter and warm tea and bickering and bedtime. Everything evolves into the experience and it all matters.

Grief and growth

Inhale exhale

Loss and love

Birth and death

Sitting with all of them

Warming my soul with my tearsv

And nourishing my spirit by

Remembering, honoring, returning.